Death is the
most difficult thing to talk about with small children, especially when sadness
befalls you. But death is inevitable and children need to understand it.
Contact the Family Funeral Services Sydney to arrange a religious memorial service, so your child knows
what it means to lose, and stay strong through the day without someone he cares
about. Generally, preschool children (3-4 years) have little understanding of
death. They might have heard it from a story or watched it on television. Some
children have even gone through the death condition of the family.
There are
several aspects of death that toddlers do not understand. For example, they do
not understand that death is permanent and happens to everyone. They also don’t
understand that death makes the body no longer function.
They still
believe that people who die can still eat, sleep, and do normal things. Even
though you have explained it many times, preschoolers still cannot digest what
causes death. They consider death to be temporary.
Even when
one family dies, the child does not see it as something that can happen to
them. Children at this age react to death in different ways. Don’t be surprised
if your child experiences a setback in achievement or suddenly refuses to go to
school when someone nearby dies. All his daily activities can be disrupted, he
is trying to understand why the adults around him are grieving.
It could
also not show any reaction, all the responses might be mixed with fun and play
on a normal day. This condition is also normal. Sometimes he immediately feels
sorrow but it can also be delayed until he feels safe to issue it.
This process
can last for months or even years, especially if he loses a parent or one of
his siblings. Your child might behave strangely, for example, if he pretends to
be dead. Although this method is very surprising, this is also normal. Then how
do you explain the death of children? The following are the requirements:
1. Give Short and
Simple Answers
Young
children cannot receive too much information in one opportunity. At this age,
it is better to explain death in terms of physical function, not as a
complicated discussion related to a disease that causes death. You can explain,
“Now uncle is dead. His body no longer functions. He cannot walk or run.
Om also no longer eats, drinks, or sees. He also doesn’t feel pain. ”It is also
important to help the child understand other things, such as who will take care
of him if, for example, his parents die.
2. Don’t Avoid the
Question
It is very
normal for your child to be curious about matters relating to death, even
though he has never lost a loved one. This condition can be a good opportunity
to put a foundation that will help your child overcome it when he loses
someone. Answer the questions about death and don’t be afraid to read stories
about children who have lost pets or parents.
3. Be Careful When
Explaining God and Heaven
The
explanation of death and life after death will depend on your beliefs. If your
explanation is related to God and heaven, be careful what you say, because the
words intended to appease a child can be confusing.
If you say,
“Grandma is happy now because she is in heaven,” for example, she
might be worried and think, “How can you feel happy when everyone here
feels sad.” If you say, “Grandma is very good being God he wants to
be with her. “He might think,” If God made Grandma separate from us,
would God separate me from mom and dad too? “Or,” Do I have to be a
bad child to stay here with Dad? and Mother? “
4. Avoid euphemisms
Adults
usually use the phrase “resting peacefully” or “eternal
sleep” to describe death. This is confusing for young children. So don’t
say Grandfather is sleeping or leaving. Your child can worry when he sleeps at
night he will die too. Or when you leave it for work you will leave and never
come back.
State the
cause of death as simply as possible, for example by saying, “Grandfather
is very old and his body is no longer functioning.” If grandfather
experienced pain before dying, make sure that if he was sick only because of
coughing or a cold, he would not die from it. Explain that each person
sometimes experiences different illnesses and we will recover from a mild
illness as he usually suffers.
5. Remember the
person who died
Children need concrete ways to remember the death of a loved one. He may
not be ready to attend the funeral, but he can argue in other activities in
whatever way he feels comfortable. He can make candles at home, sing, draw, or
take part in rituals of worship. If he is willing to attend a funeral or other
activity, explain carefully in advance how the body will look. Talk about the
whereabouts of the coffin, how to find people when the body is buried, and a
detailed explanation related to the funeral.
6. Prepare for
Miscellaneous Reactions
Not only will children mourn the death of a loved one, but they may also
feel guilty and angry. Calm yourself by saying no action or words have taken
place in death. Don’t be surprised when he turns it over to you, doctors and
nurses, or even when people die. He may be sad more often. This he did to try
his sadness.
7. The Same
Question Again and Again
Be prepared to answer your child’s questions again and again, because
they easily deny their deaths. He may have new questions through awareness
about death and the growth of cognitive abilities. Don’t worry when you don’t
explain death in sufficient detail. Continuous child questions are normal.
Continue to answer the questions patiently.
8. Return to Normal
Activity
Don’t add to the loss that your child experiences by abandoning his
schedule and activities. There must be sad when someone loses but the sooner
your child’s daily activities return to normal, the easier it will be to get.
He needs to sleep, sleep, and eat on time. If he is in school, immediately
return it to friends to have fun there.
9. Discuss
Miscarriage
If you and your partner have had a miscarriage, of course, you managed to
grieve. But you will be surprised to find your child disappointed too, but he
has little understanding of pregnancy. He may have the right to win or fail
because of siblings who are expected to arrive. It needs to be strengthened to
get this death worthy. Explain why babies who need a miscarriage are not
healthy enough to survive outside the mother’s womb. Let it return safely by
drawing or making something for a dead fetus.
10. Show Your
Emotion
Grieving is an important part of caring for adults and children. Don’t be
afraid of excessive expression of grief, but don’t also make the requirements
out of bounds. Explain that adults also sometimes need to cry. Your child will
notice changes in your mood, and he will be more worried if he believes wrong
and you manage to control it.
11. Seek Help
If your child seems difficult to accept death, then he will argue when
having to sleep or are fixing depression, talk to your doctor immediately to
get treatment from an expert.
